I was in Holland last weekend, when the UNICEF report on children was published. My family emigrated from Holland when I was three, yet I was brought up by a militantly Dutch mother, who, unlike many of her new British neighbours, gave up a promising medical career to take care of her four girls. Visiting my cousins this time, I was struck by how none of the girls had veered from that "traditional" choice.
All had jobs - from running their own consultancies to managing a chain of butchers - but none of them worked after 3pm. I smiled often to myself as the contrast between the image of Holland as radically liberal - even amoral - contrasted with the conservative reality that I was witnessing. To some extent I had run all my life from the memory of my mother "stuck" at home.
But this report re-frames that memory and those choices. As we all know now, Britain came last in the list which measures child well-being and Holland came top. Little or no socio-economic or cultural complexity is built into the findings so it is hard to take clear lessons from it. Nevertheless, coinciding with the poignant news of a third schoolboy shot down as a result of gang violence, the report has caused a wave of urgent self-examination across Britain's media and no doubt, in British homes too.
The interesting development from the Dutch model however, is that the debate is not focussing exclusively on mothers. David Cameron is echoing the views of many black commentators when he identifies the main issue as the "missing father". As child psychologists like Steve Biddulph describe, boys who have no clear male authority close to hand tend to turn to each other for structure. In this environment strong leadership and gangs thrive. What is the role of the mother in that scenario?
Recent Comments